Meandering whims of a curious mind

I’ve learned that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.

I’ve learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.

I’ve learned that it’s a lot easier to react than it is to think.

I’ve learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.

I’ve learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you think you can’t.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life.

I’ve learned that true love continues to grow, even over the longest distance.

I’ve learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.

I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned that it’s who we are inside as individuals that hold far more meaning than any measure of accolade, riches or popularity can ever be. To look into the mirror at the end of it all, bereft of all worldly yardsticks, and honestly say "I gave my all, I have lived my life and I did it honorably".

A friend of mine blogged an awfully interesting title the other day, "A  life lived in resigned desperation is a life not lived."  In his usual comic tendencies, he put forth a point traversed so many times by so many people …

If you want a life less ordinary, live it. Throw caution to the wind and take your chances. Breathe the air as it was supposed to be experienced. Embrace life.

All very disconnected quips, but stating the same. If you want something in life, go get it. Don’t let failure or worse the fear of failure stop you from pursuing your goals.

If you are like me, oftentimes we never know what we want out of life, which direction to take. So we wait … and wait … and wait, hoping it’d suddenly hit us like a brick wall and we’d find out our purpose in life.

We placate our fears with the fact that we will strike when the iron is hot. And that when we do, we’d charge mercilessly towards our goals … we’d be huge success. we dream of the riches and accolades raining down. Yes, we’d be able to do it.

That is, of course, until we’ve discovered our passion. In the meantime, we just have to wait. No problem. Let’s wait.

There’s a fine line between waiting and procrastination and fear. I did it for the longest time … until I decided to change. Why?

A friend of mine, a meticulous, hardworking person and extremely intelligent … had a pretty nice, stable job … very well-liked and was easily primed for higher positions. Career-wise … it seemed quite a good pace to strive at … moving into greater heights safely … secured in the thought that there was great support from the superiors, receiving compliments after compliments …

But it wasn’t enough. As an extremely organized person, so prone to pre-planning and and astute risk management, my friend decided to take the plunge. Leaving an industry so intertwined career-wise with all that was comforting and familiar, it was a huge torment of uncertainty to persevere into the complete unknown. I was going like "Wow" - … even I felt fearful … so worried

And yet, no matter which way I looked at it, all I could see was courage. Courage to step out of the comfort zone and risk it. But it was a passion to self-actualize, to be all that you can be that drove the move … and with that, it invoked an overwhelming amount of respect.

I mean, we have but one life, lets just live it the way we want it to be. Sure, sometimes we don’t know what to risk for … but just take the first bus that piques your interest and ride it out.

And so on my part, I started to pick up an awfully thick book and went back to school. I have no idea how I’m gonna read this damn book or when I’m gonna finish it. But I will and I will not stop there.  It will go on until I find another better bus to ride in.

This takes a far lesser courage than what my blogger friend suggests and surely a lot less risk then what my career-changing friend is doing .. but hey … it’s a start.

So take life by the horns and live it. Take responsibility of your own life and go work for what you want cos if you want to be happy … you’ve got to pursue it.

PS: Even got my boss to change his entire management style after 5 long years .. How? By drafting out new (very risky) proposals and presenting them (after organizing my peers to back up the plan, of course) .. its still going to be  lot of work … but it’s a lot brighter. So get off your ass!

Knowing what you want isn’t something that many figure out immediately. Be it career, love or life in general, we never really know where we end up. A lot of times we are faced with inhibitors, stupefying our efforts to make our lives better. Like the time you pursued that someone of your supposed dreams or another time when you were so sure that a certain career was meant to be or even when everything in life seemed to fall in place.

Life just throws us a boomerang and hits us on the head. The point of it all is that we never know what will be … no matter how much we plan for it.

I started Salsa dancing again last May 2006, on a whim that I’d finally master the dance. At no time in this quest of mine, did I ever fathom that any good would come from it. You see I actually started salsa 2-3 years ago … moving from one dance studio to another trying with little success to get some semblance of rhythm.

So here I was trying another seemingly futile attempt, to right my two left feet. The first few classes was not very pretty, the images of my ineptitude came back to haunt. I couldn’t get it right even after a progressing a few modules. Pathetic, I felt. I thought of quitting so many times. I just wanted to let everything go. It seemed so easy to sink back into my comfort zone of aimless debauchery.

But I stayed. Not of the dance but of the people I met. They made me stay. They made me appreciate community.

Honestly, I hated looking like a fool but I enjoyed the camaraderie.

Over time, this turned out to be quite a blessing in this disguise. I finally got to learn salsa. Sure, I still do hit the odd face, elbow the tummy and kungfu some poor soul but it’s rare (sort of). I’ve truly learnt to enjoy salsa … (and *gasp* I’m not too bad after all)

There were a lot of other things that had happened along the way in my personal Latin jungle; a lot of emotional ups and downs … scandal notwithstanding as well haha (no, I’m never going to tell) but I’ve learnt that it is good to try … even if you don’t really know what you want.

Salsa seemed so hard at first. And yet, I persevered because I thought that was what I really wanted. However, in the end … I found something else … a community that was so much more valuable than the dance itself and special people who now mean the world to me.

I look back and reminisce … it was just supposed to be about discovering a dance, but I discovered a world.

The moral I learnt?
Try something hard … you never know what treasures await you.