Meandering whims of a curious mind

(I plucked this little gem of insight from another website. I liked it and I hope you do too)

The idea of living without regrets is a mantra for the ages. Despite this, it’s too easy to live by the status quo and try to fix your mistakes as you go through life. What is regrettable varies from person to person, and some things that cause regret are beyond control. But if you find yourself trying to patch up your life, chances are you’ll find yourself regretting more and more of the things you didn’t do.

Because life is so short, actually living it can help you feel like you’ve accomplished something. When you’re down, it may seem like the only way to live life to the fullest is to have the bank account of a CEO and the schedule of a free-spirit, but this is not necessarily the case. Consideration and planning will help anyone reach their seemingly unattainable goals. When you have attained your goals, you’ll definitely have something interesting to talk about around the water cooler — like the weekend you and your friends went skydiving.

1) Make a list of aspirations
Did you ever notice that it’s easier to focus on something tangible? That’s because the more concrete an idea is, the harder it is to forget. Without a concrete idea, months and years will slip through your fingers. With this in mind, make a solid plan for your future endeavors. It doesn’t need to be too detailed; it just needs to put into writing your major long-term goals, such as travel plans, getting a raise at work or finishing that book you’ve been intending to write. Once you write them down, post the list somewhere visible or somewhere you can review them often. This way, your future goals will become ingrained in your mind, and you’ll stay focused on completing them. Select the easier goals to accomplish first; this way you’ll build some success momentum for the more difficult ones.

2) Break it down
As you pin down each long-term goal, break it down into smaller units. Big tasks are often daunting and may leave you without enough motivation to tackle them. You’re more likely to fail and wear yourself down if you leave a big task on the shelf for an extended period of time. Stop this cycle by breaking it down into more manageable units for the shorter-term. For instance, instead of telling yourself that you’ll finish writing your book by the time you’re 40 (a task that seems far away and life-changing), set the smaller goal of finishing one chapter by the end of the month. This gives you something immediate to work on, and it’s completely attainable. After you’ve met that deadline, you’ll feel confident in your abilities and capable of setting a new goal; one that’s just as attainable. Completing one small task at a time will get you moving forward and on your way to that huge goal you thought you’d never meet.

Become your own events planner and have confidence in yourself…

3) Mark your calendar
Take charge and plan your social occasions. If you don’t have plans for the big holiday weekend, make your own plans and get all your buddies on board. The only way to make memories is to do stuff, and the only way to ensure that you’re doing stuff is to take responsibility for planning your own social calendar. Sure, good things come to those who wait, but those who plan ahead ensure that their good fate will come. This means being proactive. If you’re jealous of other guys who play poker with their friends, buy some chips and invest in some beer nuts; chances are that your friends will be more than happy to take part. It’s possible they’ve been waiting around for someone to get the party started. The point is that you need to create your own opportunities to have a great time.

4) Build yourself up
As you enjoy some of the success from your smaller long-term goals, and as you make great memories — and build a reputation as a great party planner — remind yourself of what you’ve done and what you’re capable of in the future. Relish in what you’ve accomplished to make your life fuller and less regretful. As you see yourself accomplishing your own goals, you’ll be motivated to tackle even more. When you do something that causes problems or slips, treat yourself as you’d treat an employee at work; with sensitivity and constructive criticism. Harboring negative feelings about your failures is akin to being hard on somebody at work, and you’ll resent and discourage yourself. Remember that you’re only human, but you can accomplish great things with your life.

5) Take notes
Be a good student and learn from your mistakes. If you have a nasty experience, don’t let it discourage you; rather, let it teach you a lesson of what to be wary of or what to tweak in your own behavior. If you consistently fall into the same, bad situation, take a moment to analyze what brought you there. Take note of the things that you could have avoided. This way, if you see the same hazards come up again in the future, you’ll know what to do to get around them safely. Learning from your mistakes can really enrich your life and can help you avoid countless nasty and regretful moments.

6) Keep in touch
Make a vow to keep in touch with people who are important to you. It may not seem like a big deal now, but in your later years, the dissolution of personal relationships may be a really big regret. Devote a morning or an evening each week to make that one visit, meet for a coffee with that one friend or make that long-overdue phone call. Each time you touch base, you’ll be working toward the further goal of maintaining friendships. Sometimes it’s hard when you have a lot going on, but later on, when life slows down, you’ll be glad to have taken care to keep your friends close. As an added bonus, you’d be surprised what people can teach you when you spend a little time talking with them.

7) See the future
Keep one eye on what you’re doing, and the other on your future self. It’s really easy to get caught up in the moment and do things you’ll wish you hadn’t. Occasionally, we all suffer from a bad temper, impulse buying or other actions of passion, but try your best to keep these moments of weakness to a minimum. Buying that big-screen television may prevent you from going on vacation this year, and that bad temper may cost you a job or a great girl.

Ditching your dirty “friends” and keeping yourself grounded…

If you have doubt about how you should deal with a particular situation, think about how you want the story to go in the future, and act accordingly. This way, instead of burning bridges or wasting time, you’ll be preserving the right opportunities and ensuring that more will come along.

Study up
Each experience should teach you something as both accomplishments and failures carry their own lessons. Pay attention, look around, and learn from what you see. Each time you do something great, pat yourself on the back and remember what got you there. Better still; learn not only from your experiences, but from those of others around you. Keep a journal or make a mental note, but keep track of the actions that further your goals and those that hinder them. If you find something that works, use it in each situation you think it’s applicable. If you can get a lesson from the events in your life, you will be better off as time goes on.

9) Drop your dead weight
Most people deserve a second chance when they screw up; however, there are others that, for one reason or another, just are not good for you. Some try to use your good nature to further their goals, while others are a roadblock on your way to your achievements. Don’t waste your time with toxic people. If there’s somebody who always brings you down, it might serve you well to burn that bridge and never look back. However, be frugal with those relationships that you choose to ditch, as those who drive you crazy now may be very good for you later on. It’s divine to be fair and forgiving, but if you get burned more than once by the same guy, it may be better to leave him to his own devices. Just know when to cut the ties.

10) Anchor yourself
Keep little reminders of what you want all around you. They don’t need to be embarrassingly obvious, but they do need to remind you of your priorities. If you dream of a vacation spot in cottage country, hang a picture of your oasis in your office. Sometimes a powerful quote or excerpt reminds you of what’s important: if so, put it on a Post-it in your planner. If your anchors grow stale and you ignore them, move them to a new place (you’d be surprised how much you’ll notice them again) or get new ones. Life is lived in the everyday, so use your anchors to help you aim high in all that you do.

Treasure Your Time
Living a great life on your own terms is an enviable goal; it’s also a very accomplishable goal if you set your mind to it. It’s important to realize that achieving your goals should be rewarding every step of the way and not just at the end. Make sure that as you’re mapping out your future, you’re also relishing in the present.

There’s nothing that causes more regret than letting the good times slip by. Keep your eyes open to the world around you and immediately use the opportunities that come your way. Never lose sight of your goals and remember that balance is the key to success.

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 11th, 2007 at 2:47 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.