My Wannabe Philosophical Self
I’ve been awfully neglectful of
blogging of late … about 6 months to be exact … pretty much neglectful of a lot
of things as well. Fell off the ship, so to speak. Though I am starting to
right myself up again … I’ve learnt one thing though about myself … never let
emotions play wind to my sail … so far, it has seldom done me good … only a lot
more unnecessary duress, anxiety, heartache, despair and … well, you know the
rest.
Then again, it brings me to point of
truism … “through adversity we learn and grow” or perhaps another along the
lines of infinitesimally used cliche “No pain, no gain”. My question is … when
does this pain or adversity prove to be overbearing, when does it prove to be
too much that it simply debases and gets chortled off as “stupidity”?
Perhaps I’ve been missing the
lessons that I’m supposed to learn. Blinded by the emotive plays that my mind
endeavors to perpetuate in that little cranium of mine. I assume most people
(except the excruciatingly most heartless) will succumb to such derelict
musings from time to time … a fact of life or perhaps the bane of humanity for
having the so-called most developed brain.
For all our exhortations of
intellectual supremacy in the universal world (as we know it, unless with find
irrefutable proof of little green men), we still play slaves to our feelings,
our cares, our fears … The Einteins, Kasparovs (World Chess Champion) and
Beethovens of the world have been sidelined at one point or another by such
eccentric if not, illogical behavior when beset with unstable emotional
synapses (I could have used belligerence or simpler words, but heck, I simply
wanted to put “synapses” somewhere in there)
Control … control would be the
keyword (as I’m sure many would predispose). Control of one’s feelings, a control
that is shaped and sharpened through life experiences (or deluded by drugs like
Prozac) … to avoid or overcome … to become unaffected to that consequence, of
matters that would otherwise reduce a proud upstanding individual to a
whimpering fool bereft of forethought and ability to make logical decisions. Surely, somewhere in all those
endorphins, serotonins and other scientific mumbo jumbo that induces emotions
lies an answer … (we just got to figure out how to consciously secrete them in
proper amounts). Through control, would we not be better equipped to life’s
follies? To be able to embrace serenity in light of stresses that besieges us
on a routine basis.
A delightful thought … a thought
nonetheless … a trifling whimsical figment of an over-imaginative mind.
What then of that that makes us
human? Do we devolve\evolve to an era of automatons … of Asimov’s unfeeling
robots … where hate, fear and angst are no more … where in kind, love, courage
and passion similarly dissipate to nothingness? Do we lose ourselves?
A conundrum indeed … as apparent as
this entry indicates of my complete lack of clarity on this subject … I shall
put my faith in learning whom I am and hopefully, (nay, rather definitely) … be
a better person … through, not in controlling my emotions but rather embracing
them for what they are … embracing myself for who I am and in that effect … Acceptance
… that this is the way I am, that this is what makes me “Me”
Tampered, of course
… with a healthy dose of moderation.
