Meandering whims of a curious mind

Monday is back again … and I sooo want to take leave. Why did they invent Mondays anyway? Its so aggravating … and its only 930am at the moment. I really ought to embrace the new working day with a lot more gusto but … short of being delusional from  … say lack of sleep or an overdose of "recreational" pills … its never going to happen. Hmmm, some vodka would be fine too.

My passion for the job is gone, dissipated like the morning mist under the beating afternoon sun. I’m not too sure when it adieu’-ed … I just simply lost it along the way whilst working like maniacal beast my first few years. Years passed and what was once challenging  mind games (work-wise) became dreary, mind-numbing mechanical routines.

Finding My Passion
The books all say … to find your passion and everyday becomes a joy, everyday becomes a new stupendous adventure of self-fulfilment and discovery … Ahh (*smiles) what a wonderful … DREAM. What they fail to say is … or at least obscure in some cryptic text … that REALITY tends to knock this premise off the kilter and into the hot cauldron of swill and muck … otherwise known as responsiibilities.

I could think of a multitude of reasons not pursue one’s passion … finances being the biggest one on the list … I for one, enjoy dancing, training, and …believe it or not … waitering (I really do enjoy it when I see the smile on the customer’s face of a job well done.) So do I become a physical trainer, dancer or even plunge into the F&B industry sashaying as an over-the-top happy as f%*k, waiter? No disrespect on those professions of which are all honourable but … it doesn’t put food on the table … at least not with my responsibilities.

Perhaps if I were in my mid-20s, it’d be fine and dandy to partake in this roller coaster of passion hunting. But I’m not. I’m 30 going 31 in less than 6 months. Singapore has this (should I say) "blatantly stupid" mindset that the older the workers, the less "valuable\effective" they would be. Can’t hire them cos they are

a) too expensive
b) too cheap
c) too over-qualified
d) too … (insert here for other dumb reasons)

So quite thusly, (though I’m not exacty knocking on heaven’s door … pardon the cliche) I am nonetheless unattractive to the current crop of employers always looking for bargains and what not. So leaving my job for another industry is … a step taken with much trepidation … bordering on insanity (an exaggeratingly maybe)

Sonly Duties
My parents are not getting any younger, plans must be afoot to ensure their well-being … not only daily necessities , medical expenditures and some recreational pursuits. But most of all, (as with everyone else I’d believe) I wan them to enjoy their twilight years … to be happy as much as they have ever been … its time that I pay back for all that I have taken … a debt which I will never ever be able to repay .. but one which I will be only too happy to fulfil.

Hmm, perhaps that is where my passion lies? To make my parents happy? To do well, to strive and ensure a lasting smile on my old, tired parents who have given their all and more.

I don’t know as yet where my next job will take me … a dancer, a trainer, a waiter or back to computing again … but I know what my life job is … to make my parents happy … that is the most wonderful job I have.

As what one of my dearest friends, Leslie (who works 14-16 hours a day to support his family) loves to say … Never give up, never surrender. So Monday … take your best shot cos I have chased my blues away.

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 16th, 2005 at 7:29 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.