A Rant: Excuse me, are you gay?
Disclaimer
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To be honest, I’ve nothing against gays. I think they are decent people with simply, orientations deviating from the mainstream. Sort of like indie\alternative bands as opposed to the usual contemporary rock\pop.
Acceptance for the alternative lifestyle has grown (somewhat) exponentially for the last couple of years. Same sex marriages are acknowledged (legally), adoption\surrogating for such couples is a norm and now there is even talk of ordained Catholic gay priests (Whatever happened to celibacy :s) … how the world has truly changed (I’ll reserve the word evolve until I see how everything pans out.) So where is all this leading? Another tirade on the proliferation of the gay movement? Nay, I’ve neither the intention nor desire for further dissolution of the gay community. They have been ostracized enough as it is.
In fact, I actually believe certain nuances of this differing predilection could be well served by being inducted into mainstream dogma … that is, being more sensitive to others. The gay community … is invariably more attuned to the sublime mannerisms of the human nature (from a male\my standpoint). More tolerant of others, more willing to cater to others’ perceptions, more … well, basically more nice … then again, I may be wrong … it might simply be due to the oppressive situation in which they have been thrusted\“schooled”. Looking back in history from the American Civil War and 1906 (Rosa Parks) Women’s rights … those same communities (African Americans and Women), who are now far more empowered, have stepped away from their somewhat submissive and understanding demeanour … and taken far more aggressive stance. The gay movement may follow the same historical route (probably). But I digress, the community (well, at least those that I know) are generally, much better mannered than the overall populace (IMHO btw).
Before anyone gets me wrong, I do not support it but I do respect it. Everyone leads their own life as they see fit. That is their sole right … and no one … absolutely no one can deem otherwise. That being said, we do not live alone and thus, certain rights must be compromised to ensure that those same rights do not transgress\infringe others’ ownership of their lifestyle. In a nutshell, live as you must but don’t step anybody’s toes while you do it.
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Now that the disclaimers are out of the way, here’s my gripe …
I get mistaken for being gay.
Well, hellooooo world … Really sorry to disappoint you but I’m totally and utterly STRAIGHT (1). I’m not a particularly over-sexed maniacal girl-deprived as most red-blooded guys out there but I am totally, utterly STRAIGHT (2). (Had to repeat that lest anyone missed it :p) I really ought not to get so riled up about this … it is all too … shall I say narrow-minded\petty\dick-headed … to warrant any thought process on. On most, I’d agree wholeheartedly … heck even writing this down seems weird …
But it’s my blog and I’ll write as I see fit. Certainly better than dumping money on drinking, partying, coming back drunk and waking to a hangover with a $100 dollars missing from the day after stupor … which I used to do … a lot (Presently 2 months sober … yay for me).
Anyway back to the subject of me being a subject of gay-orama … there is no subject … cos I am STRAIGHT (3). (I am repeating for those who missed the other 2 proclamations) I cannot, for the life of me, understand why every Tom, Dick or Harry keeps coming up to me and asking me about my sexual orientation.
Sure, I’m a gym freak (it’s a hobby), I enjoy dance (duh, it’s a hobby too), I’m an advocate of political niceties (what’s wrong in practicing "Thank you"), I’m a bit of a fashionista (vainity, metrosexual, personal grooming … most certainly not a crime) and I’m a blatant extrovert (No, I’m not a insurance agent\financial planner … most assuredly, a respectable vocation nonetheless) … so I don’t particularly conform to society’s accepted mindset of an alpha male but how does this miscontrue me as (seemingly) "unmainstream"?
My relatives suspect I’m gay (and they did ask me about it)
My colleagues (some\most of them) think I’m gay
Of particular note, a large population (that being, acquaintances) simply assume I’m gay.
About the only people who don’t think I’m gay are my close friends.
And that is all that should matter (in theory); I definitely shouldn’t be perturbed the slightest bit (in theory again)
But …
Gays think I’m gay too … (As I’ve said, I have nothing against them and in fact, one of my best friends is gay) Heck, some don’t even think … they simply assume I’m one.
I’m certainly no Brad Pitt (picture short and ugly), neither in looks (I think my parents are great - the genetics simply skipped a generation or rather skipped me cos my bro is pretty decent-looking) nor height (lest I wear platform shoes - really damn friggin tall ones :s) … but I do get (male) approaches now and then, which is tolerable (and somewhat flattering, I’ll admit)
But …
With the greater acceptance of gayness as a societal norm … the approaches have become bolder in nature … too bold.
Therein lies my dilemma :s
Gay, Homo, Queer, Crooked … it’s an alternative way of living … I understand that and respect it. I’m quite happy to be a friend but just leave me out of that “inner” circle.
So …
Stop giving me those alluring stares
Stop initiating unwarranted propositions
Stop presenting unasked\surprise gifts
Stop asking probing sensitive questions
Stop sashaying and flirting
Stop those accidental "touches"
Stop having seemingly innocent motives
(cos it’s getting kinda freaky)
And let’s just be friends
…
Excuse me, are you gay?
I’m most certainly not.
