Meandering whims of a curious mind

I finally got to see the highly acclaimed made-in-singapore movie scarefest "The Maid" yesterday. I’ve never liked horror shows since I’m a huge wimp when it comes to the suspense and ghastly grossness. But heck since its been made in Singapore, surely it cant be that bad in terms of shock value (Meaning bad …We still have quite a long way before making any headway in the movie industry .. ie we suck… we are getting better though). So here I was prancing along with my 9 inch hotdog (no, its not a pun) and nachos in hand, expecting to be entertained and intrigued by this movie. I knew that it broke all box office records in Singapore and stuff like that. The media has been especially gracious in pouring accolade after accolade on the movie … so heck, what could hurt? Should be interesting and fun. … Yeah right … no sooner than 10 minutes into the movie that I almost crap in my jeans. And it didn’t let up for even a minute … I was like … GET ME OUT OF HERE! … Sacrefests normally start scaring in the night when ghostly apparitions start to gather and you know .. scare you … but crap, this movie even scares the shit out of me during the daytime spells. How the heck was I going to survive the next hour and half… ?Heck, how was I going to hold my pee for the next hour and half …?

I would love to splurge details on what spooked my ass off but I was too busy cringing, squirming and covering my eyes that I can only remember glimpses of what transpired.

This was going to be one shitty day.

As much as I wanted to leave, my wallet told me that I’d be wasting money and all that other stuff that your consicince tells you. So here I was, a 30 year old watching a movie with both hands carpeting his face, just allowing a little bitty hole of light to pass through so that my visual capacity was not totally disengaged. Felt kinda like a frigging peeping tom, to be honest.

My cinematic partner on the other hand, was having the time of her life … 2 for the price of one … a good movie about ghosts and a good movie about traumatised individuals. I swear that if something in red (that’s what the ghost’s prominent colour was) just whiffed past me, I’d go into cardiac arrest on the spot … heck, I’d puke and then go into a heart attack.

I’ve never been a big fan about singaporean made movies since they normally comprise of totally over the board sucky actors with shitty writing (Trust me on this … we’ve had loads of Z-grade films made … the worst was probably about that dumb superhero flick, V-man or something). But in this respect, they sure have made huge strides thus far.

I’ve pretty much watched most of the horror shows (All forced btw, I was tied and dragged screaming and arms flailing in to the cinemas .. well not really, but I do hate them) and I can safely say that "The Maid" was the scariest shite ever … it clearly gave me a good lesson in Yoga … all the gasping and panting from being shocked out of my wits gave my lungs a real big workout. Of course, as a disclaimer, I have to say that I am not a good reviewer in this sense since I normally don’t get to see the whole show … I can only have a fractious account of what the movie since oftentimes

a) My eyes are closed
b) My hands cover my eyes
c) I have big fat thingy covering my eyes\face
d) I go into withdrawal\denial and daydream happy thoughts
e) I get a six pack and proceed to get tipsy\drunk (Advisory: Frigging fun!)

Nonetheless, I thought this was a really good movie with a good script and wonderful twists. So like the rest of the PR campaign, I’d like put in my 2-cents worth …

GO WATCH IT!.

(And if you are scared … take Vodka)

My 3 favourite blogs thus far … they write some seriously funny shite.  I’m like … where do they think of this kind of crap anyway. The best thing about blogs I guess is that people REALLY don’t have to give a freaking damn about who or what thinks about them … Well, I’ve not mustered the courage or perhaps degraded decorum to mesh with Lords of Blogs but heck, I’m having a smashing time reading and laughing my ass off … To those who feel blogging simply barks of social ineptitude or just simply anal … well check what some of these blogs’ write up’s … Hilarious to the nth degree ..

Blog By http://stupidfamouspeople.blogs.friendster.com/

" Let me tell you something about people who own blogs: We are narcissistic, opinionated fucks. We pay money (sometimes a whole lot of money) to have our shitty opinions and photos blasted into cyberspace not because we think other people care, but because we love ourselves so much that we need our coutenance to be replicated in as many forums as possible. Why do idiots waste their time with the righteous "you should be self-respecting" comments? IT’S A FUCKING BLOG, DOUCHEBAGS. This is not Fox News. Don’t like it? Well there’s this little box at the upper right corner of the computer screen. See it? See the little "x" in that box? The solution to all your problems."

Blog By http://rockson.blogspot.com/

"I am thinking, fuck man, Singapore got so little talent until cannot find another man to be President ah? Have to make one poor old Indian man who want to rest go and try and be president again? Lan cheow ok!

Why must like this? Singapore everything good only have One, is it? One man good enough to be president, one party good enough to be gahmen, one Lao Lee good enough to be a PM, then SM, then MM? Singapore don’t have other good people meh? Maybe that’s why the Singapore song is One People One Nation One Singapore. Everything is fucking ONE!!!"

Blog By http://www.wilshipley.com/blog/

"There’s another fact you should know at this point, which is that nerds are not, inherently, asexual. We don’t have much success with women, but that doesn’t mean we are immune to their charms. Quite the opposite. We fall under such a spell that we are unable to function, and this renders us so unattractive that it creates a self-perpetuating cycle of desperate singlehood."

My Personal Note: Blogs can be ballistic to say the very least and the gracious use of profane "lingo" will undoubtedly piss some off … but, heck, you gotta admit that these folks are not only bloody funny but have very intelligent views. Sure they take pot shots filled with fire and brimstone and teeter on the edge of outright blasphemy at times but … THEY sure are the funneh ahahah … Sometimes in shite we find gold … :p 

Its my first post so quite naturally, I’d be pretty stumped as to what I should be writing. Nonetheless, I will make extra effort not to allow this to be another glorification of oneself. I’m not sure if anyone will read this but nonetheless, I do enjoy writing somewhat (It’s a lot better than shooting my decrepit mouth off … it doesn’t pay to have a mouth that works faster than my brain) Perhaps it should be a rant about politics (I’ll save u the boredom, basically corruption to the nth degree … in most places … we just take the best of the worse … yeah … I’m quite the pessimist too) or maybe tell some jokes (not going to happen, I don’t do that particularly well) … most likely though is that I’d probably devolve this whole blogging business into some crappy synopsis of what most people consider our lives. I do hope it is remotely entertaining to those who actually manage to traverse their way here … my little shack on the digital highway. Anyway, I haven’t gotten the faintest idea what will finally transpire on this blog (or I may just lose interest and let it be a collage of "emptiness" … ie … I ain’t wrinting no more … ) so I’ll see how this little experiment goes …(Woot! This all took 5 minutes!) Till next time, have a wonderful day ahead (if you’re not going to have one then try some Vodka.